Staying Financially in Synch, 'Til Death Do You Part

By Suze Orman

You marry for love, but don’t think that love is all it takes to stay married.

For my money, not being on the same page financially is a sure ticket to marital discord, if not divorce. Based on thousands of conversations with stressed-out spouses over the years—from newlyweds to couples working on their 20th anniversary—an inability to agree on money matters is one of the leading causes of busted relationships.

And it makes perfect sense. The simple truth is that money issues are with us every day. For couples who are renting, there’s the pressure to save up fast for a down payment—which is especially intense in this hot housing market—followed by the stress of trying to choose the right mortgage. Meanwhile, couples these days that own a place are wondering if it makes sense to take advantage of the big run-up in home values and do a cash-out refi, or use their home equity to pay off credit card debt, the kids’ college bills, or a five-star vacation. Then there’s retirement to worry about. From your 401(k) to a Roth IRA, the two of you have to make all the decisions, which means plenty of opportunity to disagree with your partner. Add in the ongoing worry about being able to afford your kid’s college education, or pay off a dangerous five-figure credit card balance, and you and your significant other are surely not going to get by on love alone.

You get my point: money is front and center in our lives. So if you and your partner aren’t in financial sync, your marriage is going to be in deep trouble.

Here are my top three money vows all couples need to exchange and embrace. I don’t care if you’re married or not. Or if you’ve been together 10 months or 10 years. If you can’t agree on these financial basics you are living a life unnecessarily full of stress and discord. You both deserve better, don’t you? Here’s how to add financial intimacy to the emotional intimacy you already have.

The top reason that couples argue is the inability to see eye to eye when it comes to money. Here are ways to stay constructive for couples that argue about money.

If you truly love your partner and are determined to build a life-long relationship, you need to be committed to a life of financial intimacy with them as well. As I explained in the article, financial intimacy is not about contributing the same amount to the joint checking account. I am talking about building an understanding and respect for your individual financial personalities and learning how to meld any differences so you are financially in sync.

	Couple's Checklist To keep yourself on track to healthier personal finances, start here by printing out this checklist of important to-dos. Start Now!

Suze Orman has been called “a force in the world of personal finance” and a “one-woman financial advice powerhouse” by USA Today. She is the author of four consecutive New York Times bestsellers, including The Road to Wealth. Suze Orman, a Certified Financial Planner Professional®, directed the Suze Orman Financial Group from 1987-1997, served as Vice President of Investments for Prudential Bache Securities from 1983-87, and from 1980-83, was an Account Executive at Merrill Lynch.

Watch Suze every Saturday night on CNBC. Check www.suzeorman.com for TV listings. More great advice on Suze's blog.