A Suze Orman exclusive

I know, I know, there's the icky factor. So many of you refuse to even consider a prenup because you see it as a sign of distrust that will sabotage the relationship. I disagree. I think working together to acknowledge each other's wishes—and financial position prior to the marriage—is a sign of incredible love and respect. And hey, let's be practical. Not too many of us are getting married when we're 20 anymore. We're getting married later in life, when we have already accumulated a whole bunch of assets, from homes to retirement accounts. Or we are remarrying, and bringing our assets and children from prior relationships into the new mix. Those assets, and especially those children, need protecting.

When you get down to it, that's all a prenup is: protection for one of the biggest and most involved "what ifs" in life. It does not say you love each other less, or that your marriage will be somehow tainted. It has zero impact on your marriage. All the prenup does is protect both of you if—see, there's the big "if"—the marriage ultimately doesn't last. It kicks in if, and only if, you decide to split. So I don't see how it sucks the romance out of the relationship.

The Truest Sign of Financial Intimacy
In addition to the emotional and physical bond we form with our partners, I absolutely believe you also need to have financial intimacy—that is to say, a unified approach to dealing with money matters. And it all starts with a prenuptial agreement. Let's run through a few scenarios where a prenup really helps:

• You or your partner has a load of credit card debt. Typically, only debt that is incurred during a marriage is considered "joint" debt that you are both on the hook for. But a prenup can make it abundantly clear that the person "marrying" the debt will have no obligation to pay any debt the partner incurred prior to the marriage. In some states, you can also stipulate in the prenup that debts incurred during the marriage in the name of only one person will not be the responsibility of the other partner. If you love someone, but are a little nervous about their credit card habits, this can be a way to allay your fears, especially during the early years of the marriage.
• You have children from a previous marriage and want to make sure they inherit the assets you accrued prior to your second marriage. For example, you own a home, solely in your name, that you purchased with assets from your first marriage. You might assume your kids would automatically get that house outright, but in fact state law could stipulate that your new spouse inherit a portion of the home if you die first. In your prenup, however—along with the all-important Living Revocable Trust—you can lay out precisely how you want your assets distributed so that your children will be protected after you're gone.
• You possess valuable and/or sentimentally important personal assets obtained before the marriage. Say your grandparents left you and your sister equal shares of the family summer home on the lake. When you marry, your spouse will have a claim to that asset. Unless, of course, you spell out in a prenup that the asset is to remain in your name only.
• You own a business, or are part of a family business. The same concept applies here as with the other personal assets above. The business has been in the family for 40 years and a prenup can remove or limit your spouse's claim to any portion of the value of the business if you split.