A Suze Orman exclusive

Okay parents, if you're at the point where your kids are about to get married, congratulations! You have been through a lot, if you ask me. And I know you are thinking if you can just get over this one last financial hurdle, you will be financially kid-free for the rest of your lives, and can start saving for your own future. I bet that feels good ... but let's not forget that half of marriages end in divorce. I just bring this up for a bit of a reality check. Just when you're getting used to all that extra cash, your kid may need to move back in because their marriage went bust.

So we need to talk. Given this harsh reality, I am amazed at the crazy six-figure weddings I keep hearing about. That is nuts. I love a good party, and getting married is certainly worth a celebration, but it is insane to spend your future (retirement) on a wedding if you cannot easily afford it, especially given those unfortunate break-even odds for a happy ending.

I want you to consider an alternative plan: If you are going to pay for your kid's wedding, make them an offer. Tell them how much the wedding they want to have is going to cost. And then ask them to consider not using all of that money for a mere four- or five-hour party. Instead, talk about using a small portion for a very modest wedding, with the rest going toward the down payment for their home. Remember, each parent can gift each child (or any person they want to, for that matter) $11,000 a year without incurring any tax. Just think about it for a moment: that "wedding" money is now building a strong financial future for them. And hey, if the marriage does end up in divorce, at least they'll have an asset to sell so they can afford to continue living on their own. On the other hand, if their marriage, and your financial situation, both live up to your hopes and prove themselves strong and stable, say, five years down the road, you can always throw your kids a great catered Fifth Anniversary Party….in the house you helped them buy. Now that is what I call having your wedding cake and eating it too.